Light
by eha1234
Summary: "He smiles, takes a moment to stare. The silver hair, like starlight, the easy going smile; at that moment they are the most beautiful things in the world." A collection of 3, short, Killugon drabbles.
1. Starlight

**Killugon drabble fic. School AU. Reviews, criticism or other, are helpful:)**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Starlight

When Gon enters the school grounds, the first thing he spots is the familiar figure across the playground. His heart speeds up, like a little mouse trying to crawl out into the light and he presses a hand firmly against his chest, keeping it locked in. He smiles, takes a moment to stare. The silver hair, like starlight, the easy going smile; at that moment they are the most beautiful things in the world.

In those features, everything else melts away.

"Gon?" It's the voice that breaks him away from his trance and he rips his eyes away from ahead of him to see Leorio giving him a worried frown.

"Leorio!" Gon shouts in greeting. The older boy grins.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Nothing," Gon replies. And it's true, for the most part. He just doesn't understand why he feels so jumpy inside when he sees that face. Every day. Some days he feels like the only reason he could drag himself into school, listen to hours of maths that makes his head explode, wears a stuffy uniform and sits in a room when he could be free, outside, is to meet him.

As though following his stare, Leorio turns. His gaze lingers ahead but Gon cannot see where his eyes have rested. After a split second pause, Leorio gives a shout.

"Hey! Over here!" Gon's breath loses rhythm ever so slightly, but although the white haired boy turns round, it is not he who Leorio has called to. Leorio is facing Gon again, his smile having turned to a Cheshire cat grin. Behind him, Palm is smiling too. A creepy smile, Gon thinks, although he stows away the thought. She's trying to be nice.

Where did she come from? She always seemed to be popping up everywhere where Gon didn't expect her.

"Hello, Gon-kun _,_ " she says, her smile sweet as ever.

"Hello Palm!" Gon says with cheer, but somehow it comes out forced and overly done. Gon doesn't know why. She's got make up on, and her hair is all nice, yet for some reason Gon simply cannot find himself interested. Leorio's grin has not dropped.

"Well, I'll be off," he said.

"Wait," Gon says. But Leorio winks and walks away. Gon watches him go, trying to put off addressing Palm's furious stare.

"I was _wondering_ whether you wanted to meet me at lunch," Palm says. Her tone is casual but there is a dangerous undertone – _say yes or die,_ it seemed to say. Gon ignores it. Palm is strange, but she would never do something bad.

"I'm busy," Gon explains simply. Palm's face turns dangerously dark, her eyes wide. Gon, braces, waiting for the explosion that is sure to come.

" _Busy!"_ her voice has gone to a high pitched squeal, her face twisting into the ugly shape of fury.

"Pa…" Gon starts, hands up in defence. He needed to apologise; Palm was terrifying when provoked.

"Hey, cut it out won't you?" a shout comes, its tone scolding and sarcastic.

Gon looks at the source of the voice, behind Palm's tall shadow. Blue eyes stare back, like the sea on a crisp winter day, stunning but cold. Palm's wild fury had turned to the newcomer. He takes it on, unflinching.

"It's Gon's choice where he wants to be in his free time," he says. Gon's heart is doing summersaults again.

"Killua…" It seems Gon's best friend is oblivious to the quivering anger radiating in waves off Palm; right now she is as volatile as a hive of upset bees. Or maybe he does feel it, and just didn't care. Although Gon could usually tell, right now it is difficult to get his head around Killua's emotions.

"You!" Palm's fury has bubbled over and any moment now it would spill. Killua ducks under her arm, ever so calmly, and puts an arm over Gon's shoulder, (forcibly) leading him away.

"Aaaaarrrrh!" Gon doesn't need to turn around to know Palm has lost it. Suddenly Killua is running, across the playground, pushing passed people. Gon feels Palm's glare, hears her screams. Going from the footsteps, she's now chasing after them. Despite the situation, Gon feels strangely calm.

Killua's arms are still around him.

"Killua! You upset her!" he says. He needs to apologise! But the request is half hearted.

Both boys are faster than Palm and even with their arms tangled around each other they manage to shake off the feral girl and make it to the canteen. They put their bags down on the floor. From the inside of his, Killua fishes out a lollipop. Where he gets his endless supply of sweets has always eluded Gon.

"You idiot Gon. Just tell her to go away, why don't you?" Killua says angrily, a lollipop between his teeth.

"That would make her angrier," Gon points out. Killua sighs.

"You don't get it, do you?" he says but it is mostly to himself. Killua is confusing like that. He says things that mean nothing, just sounds coming out of a moving mouth, just to avoid saying what he really wants to say. His face though, and his hands, say a different story.

Although Gon doesn't quite know what.

Flustered? Annoyed? Something different?

"What _are_ you doing at Lunch?" Killua asks.

"Being with you of course!" The words slip out of his mouth so quickly Gon doesn't have time to think whether that is what he was actually intending to do. Killua looks startled. He goes red, looks down.

"Stop being so embarrassing!" he says. Gon notes his eyes are still downcast.

"I'm being serious," Gon says. He is. He always is, but Killua pushes him away at every turn.

"Well, I need to go to class," Killua says. Glancing at the clock, Gon sees there are still five minutes to the bell, but Killua is already picking up his bag. Gon barely thinks as his hand shoots out, grabs Killua's, holding him in place. Killua looks at him, an odd expression on his face.

"Stay," Gon says. "Please!" Although his manner is casual, teasing, underneath his stomach is a desperate whirl.

"Gon, I need to go," Killua says. Gon doesn't let go, holding his stare.

"Please?" Eventually it is Killua who backs down first, heaving a great sigh. His bag falls with a thud. What does he keep in there? Gon's bag is far lighter, even though he (usually) brings all his books.

"Fine," Killua says, sighing in defeat. He sits back down and Gon gives him the biggest grin he can manage. He can _always_ get Killua to do what he wants, in the end, and that is something not even Killua could deny.

Gon loves it.

The reason he comes to school. The reason he continues, perseveres – hair like starlight, eyes like sapphire. He is everything, Gon thinks, and he can believe it.


	2. Sunlight

**My second Killugon one-shot. Also AU. Please review:)**

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Sunlight

A flash of green shoots through the trees. Killua stands at his bedroom window, staring at the dark canopy of trees behind the thin plane of glass. Although the image is gone in an instant, he sees it clearly in his mind – spiky black hair, unbelievably short shorts…

The sun is setting. Streaks of red, orange, purple line the horizon, and the low angle of the sun throws the branches into ominous darkness, but Killua's sharp eyes see their forms clearly – each twig and leaf defined perfectly. A summer day. It is late, even though a few minutes before it was bright, the air shining with sunlight.

Killua has been waiting for the boy to pass for God knows how long. He had been expecting him hours ago. Usually he would have stopped waiting pointlessly by now, but something had stuck him to the window like glue; it refused to let him go.

It is not the first time he has seen that boy. Up here, in the attic room, he can see the tops of the trees clearly and staring out, he has seen him many times. The boy comes here often, he has found out. He runs, from tree to tree, then jumps, flies. Flies, like a bird.

Watching him is like seeing freedom in solid form.

The glass in front of him is so fragile but at the same time it is as impenetrable as a solid concrete wall. A window to a world frustratingly far away.

Killua bites his lips. He spares one last glance at the window, hoping to catch another glance, but seeing nothing, he turns away.

Killua wants to be like that – free. But he can't, he knows he can't, and it bites him up inside.

.

.

.

The next day, he is once again by the window. It is earlier this time – just before dinner – and he waits eagerly for the flash to go past. The sun is high in the sky, warm streaks bathing Killua's pale skin. Why does he cling on like this? It is only one brief second a day, sometime stretched out to a few minutes when the boy decides to linger, and yet it is consuming every waking moment.

How old is he? Who is he? Why does he run like that?

Questions swirl in his head. Killua wants to know, aches to know, but the effort needed to stretch out his hand, open the window and call out to the mystery boy is too much. Deep inside, Killua is afraid. As though the boy was a fragile mirage and if he were to touch it, it would shatter to a million pieces.

Killua would rather watch the boy from a distance, than lose him all together.

This time he passes long before the sun sets. What had kept him last time? He passes, a fishing rod in his hand, brown eyes staring straight ahead. Across the trees, he jumps – superhuman in his speed and agility.

Already he is passing, disappearing. Something tugs at Killua's heart. It hurts, watching him go. He wants to call him back, for him to stay.

Then…

A glimmer of movement, slow seconds crawling forwards. The boy turns, intense brown eyes turning, meeting his own. For a brief second Killua swears the boy could see him; not just see the flimsy façade that everyone else has made up, but meeting him straight in the eye. Their eyes lock onto each other.

Killua's heart jolts. The boy's eyes reflect the sunlight perfectly, added with a mix of something else, something extraordinary. The light is blinding. He looks quickly away, a deep flush forming on his face. When he turns his sight back onto the window, the boy has already gone.

Holding his breath Killua counts to ten. Was it real? Had their eyes really met? Everything feels oddly distant and muted, like he is in a dream, a delusion, and at any moment it could slip away.

He backs away from the window slowly and sits down on his bed. The fabric of his duvet is smooth under his fingers but a little crumpled. Killua squeezes it between his palm and his fingers until his hand aches, nails digging into the sheet.

"Killu," says a calm voice from the doorway. It is devoid of emotion, carefully blank. It jolts Killua out of his fantasy, and his gaze is ripped from the window and to the wooden door of his room. Illumi is by the door, cold eyes staring at him – no… through him. Killua stands quickly, letting go of the duvet clutched in his hand.

"Aniki!" Killua says, trying to keep as much of the shock out of his voice as possible. How long had he been watching?

If the older boy had caught onto the whiff of something suspicious, he did not show it.

"Mother wishes to see you," he says.

"Why?" Killua asks. His voice is tense. Illumi's presence in the room feels like a horrible intrusion, like something black is creeping into every corner of his personal life, leaving him bare and open and vulnerable. Killua wants him to leave.

"She's downstairs." It's not the answer to Killua's question but the strict finality to his tone tells Killua he will get no more information. Illumi turns and walks out of sight. The tightness in Killua's chest lifts suddenly and he sighs a quiet breath of relief.

Killua stands. He does not spare a glance at the window as he hurries out the door.

.

.

.

 _Click._

"What the hell?"

It's the first thing Killua says when he re-enters the room. The window is open, a fresh breeze pouring in, spinning the curtains lightly into a lazy dance as it does so. Leaves have made its way onto the window sill and a scattering of mud lines on the floor.

However, that is not what Killua's eyes are on. It is the boy, sitting on the carpet, a huge grin on his face.

 _Black hair, tinged green on the ends; brown eyes, light as strong as the sun shining behind it._

"Hello!" he says brightly.

Killua's heart is jolting, his mind whirling. Why, why, why?

"… What are you doing?" he asks slowly. His voice is harsh – it does not matter that he has wanted to talk to this boy for a while, he is still an intruder. Illumi has warned him of stranger.

"Visiting you," the boy answers, brightly. He stands up, flinging a little more dust onto the once immaculate carpet now speckled brown. Does he not realise he's just broken into somebody's house? Illumi would kill him!

Killua looks outside his room, head turning this way and that. There is nobody in the vicinity. He then shuts the door quickly.

"Who are you?" he asks warily.

"Gon Freecs," the boy says. "What about you?" His voice is clear with innocent curiosity.

"Killua," Killua says. His breathing is finally calming now, returning to its regular rhythm. They stare at each other awkwardly for a while, not knowing what to say. Or at least Killua doesn't, unable to understand why he is here, in his room.

Killua gaze travels upwards, to the window.

"How did you get in," he asks. Gon looks at the window and suddenly there is a little guilty grin on his face. Laughing nervously, he scratches the back of his head.

"Well, it was locked so…"

 _Seriously?_

Killua stamps over to the window, and stares at the glass. The wooden frame is twisted and bent, the sides having apparently been torn apart by brute strength. Where there was once a completely smooth plane, hairline cracks have made its way across its length. For some reason, Killua is not angry, but surprised: what was his motive to get into his room, even by _breaking_ his window?

"I saw you." Unlike the bubbly energy underneath all the other comments, this time Gon's voice is quiet.

"Saw what?" Killua asks, distantly. Inside however, he is desperate for the answer. He wants Gon to have noticed him, seen him.

"Looking."

 _Just the once?_ Killua wants to ask. But he doesn't.

"We can be friends!" Gon announces. His voice is louder, shouting almost. Killua resists the urge to slap him and tell him to be quiet; he is still a stranger, unknown, and Illumi would have wanted him to throw him out by now.

"F- friends?" Killua says. The unfamiliar word catches on his throat. Gon grins – a wide, happy grin.

"Yep. Friends." He drops the word so casually, as though it is every day, normal, not something that has been told to keep away from all his life. Something warm and bubbly is working its way up Killua's throat but it is not unpleasant.

"Friends," he says, rolling the word in his mouth, testing it out. Doubt crams the back of his mind, warning him of the potential danger of getting to know a stranger, but Killua ignores all of this, shoves them to the back of his mind. Right now all he can think about is the liberation, the freedom that explodes from the word. The warmth, like sunlight that goes through him. He wants this moment to last forever. This instant, preserved in ice, forever. That would be Killua's dream.

 _Friend._ It's a beautiful word.

Once Gon says a quick goodbye, he leaves through the window, bounding away through the trees. Killua watches him leave from the window, staring at the window for a long while even after Gon's form has disappeared into the distance.

 _His friend._

Gon will come tomorrow, Killua hopes. And maybe the day after that.

.

.

.

A small tap on the window informs Killua that Gon has arrived. His visits are almost daily now, sometimes twice in a day. They don't do much – just sit and talk. Illumi might have noticed the little spring in Killua's step, how the distantness in his eyes had receded slightly. There was nothing he could do though. It wasn't like Killua would tell him.

Killua opens the window. Cold air rushes in, uncharacteristic of a summer day. Will it rain soon? Killua likes the rain, the little pitter patter on his window, the smell of dust… Gon doesn't come in this time, but simply sits on the window sill, poised like a cat.

"Come with me," he says. Killua jolts. Come with him? What does he mean? Even though the thought is ridiculous, Killua turns around to check that Gon isn't talking to someone behind him.

"Where?" he asks.

"Se-cret," Gon says, lengthening the 'e' with his grin stretched wide.

"Hey!" Killua shouts. "Tell me!" Gon shakes his head.

Looking at the door, Killua weighs up his options. Illumi was away and shouldn't be coming back for a while. Nobody else would bother to check on him.

"OK," he said. "I'll get my shoes."

Once out of the room, Killua is a caged bird set free. He flies, over the trees, wind whipping in his face with Gon one step ahead of him, guiding the way. Leaves, as green as emerald flash past. The sky is full of white clouds, a low ceiling underneath the sky and the air is chilly but Killua doesn't care. Compared to the ceiling of his room, the clouds are infinitely high.

They run.

During the minutes that they do so, the raindrops come; they fall from the sky as tiny droplets, cold against Killua's skin, slipping down before dripping off. It is a drizzle. Ahead of them, Killua can see the curtains of raindrops dancing in its peculiar pattern. Underneath the trees stretch continuously, before disappearing into the mist. He hadn't known the forest was so big.

Suddenly, Killua sees it. It is a lake, the surface grey as it reflects the sky. As they get closer, Gon slows before gradually coming to a stop.

Underneath is sand. Every time Killua takes a step, his feet sink in a little.

"Sit down," Gon said. His hair is dripping tiny droplets of water onto his face. Killua too, is trying to keep the water away from his eyes. His clothes are soaked through, the water causing it to stick to his skin. After a brief hesitation, Killua sits on the damp sand. He stares ahead.

"Why are you doing this?" he asks. Gon looks at him, confusion on his face.

"What?"

"Being so… I don't know. You're a stranger," Killua says. The words aren't enough to convey what he wants to say, and frowns in frustration. Gon shrugs.

"You're my friend," he says. _Friend._

The waves lap at their feet. Silence.

But it's not silence. There is sound everywhere, from the raindrops hitting the ground and other noises that Killua doesn't recognise.

The rain is lifting. Killua could swear the clouds too are lightening. And then something happens.

From behind, Killua feels warmth. He turns around to see that the clouds have split and a shaft of sunlight has come down. Vivid white, it reaches for the ground far below. In those brief moments, the rain is alive. It reflects the light, twirling as it falls, each droplight like a brilliant gem. And there are hundreds of those in the sky.

Killua gasps. He cannot help it. It is beautiful.

More and more clouds split away, like curtains revealing the sun. The rain thins and stops. The smell is still there but the sound of droplets have dissipated to an irregular drip, drip of remaining water falling from the trees. Beside him, Gon laughs. It is a pure sound, of joy and happiness.

"Look," he says. And Killua rips his eyes away from the sun and to where Gon is pointing.

A rainbow. Shining. It's not bright. In facts it's fading quickly. But to Killua, it is so wonderful he can feel tears prickling the back of his eyes.

"Did you do this for me?" he whispers. He feels the ridiculousness of the question as soon as it leaves his mouth (how can Gon create a rainbow?) but by then it is too late.

"I had predicted it was going to happen so I brought you here. It's my special place," Gon says, staring at the strips of colour suspended in the sky. He frowns. "It's not as good as it could be." Killua shakes his head. Who cares?

"No, it's fine," Killua says. Gon smiles.

"I hoped you'd like it," he says. Killua leans back, hands pressed against the sand and his legs stretched out in front of him.

Do you ever wish you can live a moment forever? Killua does.

But then again, Killua feels like this almost every time he sees Gon. Right now, for instance. Gradually, he has realised that if you freeze a moment, you can't live tomorrow, and Killua wants to savour every tomorrow with Gon, whatever the consequences.

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 **SlightlyYandereMarissa, Kitnal: thanks!**


	3. Moonlight

**3rd and final one-shot. Set near the start of the Chimera Ant arc. Please read and review:)**

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Moonlight

With a soft hiss, the final embers of a small fire splutters out of life. The once warm, orange glow disappears completely, leaving the vicinity – a small clearing surrounded by tall deciduous trees – in a blanket of darkness. Nobody seems to acknowledge the disappearing flame. Soft breathing drifts through the air. Most the people here are in their sleeping bags and fast asleep.

It is a beautiful night. A full burst of stars line the night, unobscured by clouds. Away from any the foggy haze of civilization, they burn like pinpricks of fire, brighter than ever. The moon is full. As a huge, glowing orb, it hangs in the sky.

There is a rustle. Although quiet, it is clearing audible in the relative silence of the clearing. Then, there is a moment pause.

"Killua?" a soft voice says.

"What?" Killua answers. His voice is clear; there is no indication in his voice that he has been asleep.

"You aren't asleep, are you?" the other says.

"Don't need to. What about you, Gon?" Killua asks.

"Don't want to," Gon answers. The comment is followed by a longer stretch of silence, with the rustle of the wind in the leaves in the background and punctuated with a few bird hoots.

And the breathing. The only human sound within miles. Both boys can hear each of them clearly and pinpoint their exact location – six, scattered around the clearing, all in their sleeping bags. It does not take long for them to realise one is missing. Gon props himself up on his elbows and studies the vicinity with his sharp eyes, as observant as an owl. Even though it is dark he can see each outline clearly.

"Where's Kite?" he says.

Killua is up too. He has been awake for the entire night, ears open for sound. Although he does not show it, he is surprised. Even though he was listening in particularly hard, he should still have been aware of any missing sound, let alone miss the footsteps of somebody leaving the clearing. Kite must have left just as Gon had spoken up, else Killua would not have been sufficiently distracted.

He studies the dark lines of trees, searching for any indication that somebody had passed. But this is a campsite that has been used for a while and any clue has been crisscrossed by hundreds of footprints passing in and out.

They had been here for a few days now. People had moved in and out from the clearing hundreds of time now.

"Who cares?" Killua says. He lies back down, hands placed underneath his head. Gon's eyes are still fixated on the line of trees. There is no sign that anyone has passed but in the night Gon cannot see every tiny clue. Before long, Gon lies back down.

The stars wheel overhead. It is the deepest, darkest part of night.

"Gon…" Killua says.

"Hmm?"

"After this, what are you going to do?" Killua asks.

"What do you mean?" Gon says.

"Looking for you dad. As in, Greed Island didn't hold any clues…" Killua falls into silence, not knowing how to continue. Gon too is uncharacteristically quiet.

"I don't know," he says truthfully.

Killua sighs. He thinks that Gon should sometimes consider the future too, instead of charging around as though he cannot see anything other than now. Then again, Gon wouldn't be Gon if he didn't do that.

"Oh well," Killua says, finally. "We aren't planning on leaving any time soon."

It's true. Both boys found themselves enjoying the surprisingly peaceful quality of life. It was a long break they had needed after the events in Yorknew, and although shaken by the brutality of Greed Island, it had eventually fallen back into the light feeling of a game. Here it was even more so, because there were no people trying to kill them. A nice change, certainly.

So much could happen in a few months. New clues would come. They had time, certainly.

"Do you ever think about me?" The comment from Gon is sudden and unexpected. Gon himself hadn't been planning on saying it, the thought having occurred to him that moment. Hearing it, Killua blushes. A deep shade of crimson that is obscured by the night.

"What!" he splutters out. It is louder than he had been expecting it; a few birds fly off from a nearby branch. However, nobody wakes. Killua lowers his voice to a hoarse whisper. "No, of course not!"

"I do," Gon says. His voice is perfectly level and calm. Killua's eyes open wide, lips parted in silent shock.

"Do you remember what I told you at Whale Island?" he asks. Killua does, vividly.

 _I'm happy when I'm with you._

 _So let's go together!_

It is a year ago now, in the forest where the same glorious stars had been twinkling above their heads.

"You're my first friend. I never thought having a friend would be so…" Gon pauses. It is a small pause, barely more than a heartbeat as he struggles to find the right word that could sum up what he wanted to say. "Nice," he concludes.

A small smile slips onto Killua's face. He understands, or so he thinks. He's always wanted a friend, ever since he's been a kid. The wish had always been there, on the back of his mind.

However, Killua had found out that actually having a friend was quite different to dreaming. He hadn't been prepared for the cocktail of emotions that came with it – how fun it was, how difficult, too. At first he had thought it was just curiosity, or maybe shock, and that the feelings would disappear over time, but they had only continued to grow in intensity. How normal people dealt with it on a daily bases was confusing to Killua.

Killua didn't think it was a bad feeling. Just different and somewhat consuming.

"I might do, sometimes," Killua says. Gon nods.

"We can be friends forever," Gon says, his bright eyes staring boldly at the sky. Killua takes a moment to answer.

"OK," he says.

The fire is completely dead. Cold ash covers the blackened lump and not even a slither of smoke comes out of the remains.

"I'm going to sleep," Killua says with a sigh.

"Me too," Gon says. They might as well, as they had nothing to do for the rest of the night. "Goodnight," Gon whispers.

"'night," Killua answers.

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 **Lexx, KZmiau and Rennwolf: Thank you so much for reviews!**


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